>I am feeling much better today. I had a long conversation with DH last night. It all started with him asking about Nursing School. I told him this semester wasn’t great, in fact it was downright terrible. My grades were very bad. He said he found that hard to believe because in the past, my idea of “not doing well” was anything other than an A. I knew I could do better and wouldn’t settle for a B. Anyway, I told him that this was different, I had a C+ average and had in fact, failed my last test by 6 points. He was shocked. That’s not like me. He asked what was going on. I told him I had a lot on my plate right now. He said “it’s this deployment, isn’t it”? I said yes. We then got into a lengthy discussion about how I need to focus on myself and the kids and stop worrying about him. I told him it wasn’t that easy. He offered to do something to make me mad at him, so I could focus on me. I vehemently rejected that idea. He told me that he’s always been honest about his living conditions and safety when away and that won’t stop. He told me that he will be safe and I need to stop worrying.
To prove his honesty he told me that the guys sleep in boxes, basically shipping containers. We then proceeded to make jokes about him purchasing a shipping container and placing it in our backyard so he can sleep in it when he comes home. Laughing with him made me feel so much better.
Now, I am well aware of the fact that this is a war. He is not away on vacation, he is not sipping iced tea in a beach chair; but laughing through the worry has always been a strong coping mechanism for us. His sense of humor is one of his most valuable assets. Life hasn’t always been easy and sometimes tears are necessary, but my husband has an innate ability to make me laugh anytime, any place. In fact, a favorite saying around our house is “too soon”? Which just makes the joke that much funnier.
Some people may think our sense of humor is crude but it’s how we manage. Sending a husband off to war is not easy, but if making jokes about sleeping in shipping containers and scoping the perimeter of the house in his skivvies at 3am make us feel better; then please don’t judge us.
Anyway, after our conversation I felt much better, so today I am going to the store to get ingredients for a nice dinner. I’m catching up on laundry and just enjoying the day.
Thanks for all the kind words during my 2 day mini “break down”.