As most of you know, I am in Nursing School, I am in my second of five semesters. I have always been a good student, in Chemistry, Calculus, Physics, etc. I maintained a VERY high GPA! And you wanna know a secret? I rarely studied. I mean, I studied so little that I was embarrassed of how little effort it took and would lie when asked, I’d say that I studied the night before, or last week. I got a 98 on my NLN (entrance exam), and got into Nursing School on my first attempt. So, I thought I was sittin’ easy for the next 5 semesters. HA! Boy, was I wrong.
First semester I had some things going on:
– 4 days before my first class I found out DH was being reactivated from Reserves and being sent “over there”.
– a week in DH left for predeployment training.
– a couple weeks in my mother (an RN) stopped on the side of the road to help a woman who had flipped her car over on the ice. The car was on it’s side. A van came speeding over the hill, hit the overturned car and knocked it onto my mother. She is lucky to be alive. All the broken bones and internal injuries had her in the ICU for weeks.
– my eldest son C was admitted to the hospital for a week for asthma.
Not to mention all the little things that happened, and trying to run a household with DH deployed.
So, my first semester I wound up with a 78 average. I told myself that it was ok because I had lots of stuff going on and I will get back on track in semester 2.
Well, I am now 7 weeks into the second semester and I’m feeling pretty crappy.
1st exam I scored a 72 (73 is passing). So, I failed.
2nd exam was yesterday, I got an 84. Better, but not great. And I studied, for real!
Today I had clinical. For those of you not familiar with the way nursing school works, there is a lecture (once a week at my school) then there are clinicals which are 9 hour days spent at the hospital as a Student Nurse. We basically do all the stuff CNA’s or PCT’s do; bed baths, changing adult diapers, feeding the patients who can’t do it themselves, etc. We have a teacher, who walks around the floor helping us when we need it and telling us what we are doing wrong.
My first clinical this semester we met our teacher and basically went around the room introducing ourselves to each other (I only knew one other girl of the 7). So, when it came to my turn I was supposed to state my name, my job, additional stressors I have and my study habits. So I said “I’m Lindsey, I don’t have a job, my only other stress would come from my three kids, and I tend to study at night after they are in bed”. The girl that I knew from a previous semester said “you’re husband is deployed too”, now, I wasn’t going to mention that because this isn’t a military town and it seems like everyone around here has an opinion on the war, and I just didn’t want to get into all that at school. I was surprised when everyone showed empathy for me. So we finish the introductions and the teacher says “OK, these are going to be your best friends for the next 16 weeks, you have to help each other through, it’s going to be rough at times. Some people have a lot going on, some people don’t, so do not feel bad about asking for help. We have this one (pointing to a fellow student who had stated that she has chronic pancreatititis) who is sick and may need additional help with patient care if she isn’t feeling well one day, and we have this one (pointing to me) who may cry at any moment”. I was floored. Who the hell does she think she is making assumptions that I cannot control my emotions because my husband is deployed!
So that was how we started the semester. Then today, at preconference she is talking about the patients she assigned to us. She was explaining why she gave the 19 y/o dope addict to a particular student. She said, “the patient’s age limits me to assigning her to an older student nurse because I don’t want her nurse to be anywhere near her age. So you 4 are out, I’ve got Lindsey over here who blushes WAY too easily, so she is out….”. OK, again, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? I blush too much? Really??? So, my patient care is compromised by my blushing? I don’t think I blush too much, but apparently the teacher does.
So, today I was having a rough day. Patient was pretty much incapable of doing anything himself, he pooped on me twice, I had to change his position every two hours because he had bed sores and his wife was notorious for yelling at the staff and wanting everything done a certain way! The floor staff told me to be careful because if I didn’t do something to his wife’s expectations I could expect to get yelled at. So, I was very nervous going in. I made sure that he was comfortable, bathed and fed by the time the wife arrived. As soon as she got to the door, I put on my super cheerful face and introduced myself. We chatted for a bit, and the rest of the afternoon went well (in regards to the wife), she seemed to like me.
So at post conference this afternoon we had to go around the room and state our accomplishments that day. I said that I was very proud of the fact that I established a good relationship with the wife because she has not been happy with the rest of the staff. As I spoke, my teacher shook her head. Then she told me that the wife didn’t like me. I asked how she knew that, and she said the only reason she didn’t yell at me was because I was taking care of her husband (one on one ratio so I had time to spend with him). She said that I can’t attribute her NOT yelling at me to me being “liked”. I said “well, I didn’t mean like, as in friendship, I basically meant that she didn’t find any fault in my care of her husband and she has very high standards, as she should”. My teacher rolled her eyes.
I held it together through my shift, but you can be damned sure that I lived up to my teachers expectations and cried the WHOLE WAY HOME! I mean, it wasn’t just that, she is always kinda hard on me. She has a way of looking at me and making me feel like I am completely incompetent and should be flipping burgers at a fast food joint.
All right, enough of me ranting about nursing school.
Wanna hear something really sad? Remember my post yesterday about my son breaking his finger? Well, apparently he was made fun of in school today a lot. They said that the splint looks “fake” and that it looks like he made it out of paper for attention. He was so upset that he asked me if he could stay home from school tomorrow. tomorrow is the last day of school, it’s a half day and they are having a party. He had been looking forward to it, but now he doesn’t want to go. I felt so bad for him that I agreed to let him stay home.
OK, time to make dinner. See you all later.