I know that it is normal to have an argument with your husband during deployment. I know that it happens to most (if not all) the other wives. I know that sometimes the stress of it all can mount and before you know it, you are arguing about stupid little things that aren’t even all that important. Well, after almost three months of getting along, we have had our first argument of the deployment. It’s funny, how he can still get me so frustrated from so far away. We can argue about the smallest most insignificant thing and yet it bugs me to no end. And I think I frustrate him just as much.
Today’s argument was actually a bunch of small arguments. It started with me telling him that his mother advised me to lie to him about the condition of the cars. She said that I need a new car and rather than reasoning with him I should start making up problems to tell him each time he calls. I actually found this amusing. I would never lie to my husband, and I certainly wouldn’t manipulate him into buying a car if he didn’t know all the facts. We laughed a bit, but then began talking seriously about it. I won’t lie, I would love to buy a new car, even a new USED car would be fine.
Argument #1 centered around our Suburban.
His side: “I’ll never buy a new car again, it is a waste of money when you can buy a used vehicle for so much less”.
My side: “I agree that new cars are expensive however our Suburban was a deal too good to pass up. I am willing to hold out until we can get a good deal”.
His side: “The Burb wasn’t that good of a deal”
My side: “it most certainly was, and we should start looking for a new car now while we have time to look. If we wait until the cars break down then we will be rushed into buying”.
Our ‘Burb had a sticker price of $45,000. Because it had been sitting on the lot for 8 months (due to it’s ugly color and odd options) we were able to get it for $32,000.
That is $13,000 BELOW sticker!
That means we paid less than the dealer paid.
That means we paid what a USED ‘Burb would have cost.
That means WE GOT A GOOD DEAL!
That was the first minor argument. We agreed to disagree. OK. Onto argument #2 which came about because he claimed to not be able to afford a car payment:
Background: We moved up to New England in April 2008. Since then, our home down south has been sitting vacant. We have not rented it, we have not used it, it is not on the market. It’s a waste. We pay the mortgage and utilities every month on a house that is no good to anyone.
My Side: “during semester break I would like to go down and speak with a real estate agent about putting the house on the market”.
His side: “no way, we won’t get much for it, when I get home next summer I will go down there and fix it up; paint, laminate floors, etc”.
My side: “why don’t you let me put it on the market for what you expect to get for it. If we don’t get any offers than no harm done, but maybe there is someone out there willing to pay our asking price in the condition it’s in. It wouldn’t hurt to try”.
His side: “well, we can do it all over the phone, you don’t need to go down there”.
My side: “I want to go down there, it will be like a mini vacation for us. People pay thousands of dollars to vacation down there, we could consider ourselves lucky to own property. The boys could see their friends again and I could even get some painting done on the house”.
His side: “it’s a waste of money to go down there”
My side: “and it’s not a waste of money to pay out $1,000 each month on a house we don’t use”?
Agreement: He (conveniently) took the Real Estate POA with him overseas so he will have to send that back to me. He claims that he will do it this week, but between you and me, I think he will “forget”. I’ll never see that POA.
Background: This is the most ridiculous thing you will hear today I’m fairly sure. This past Christmas my husband decided that he was tired of spending $60 here $100 there on R/C trucks from WalMart or Toys R Us. He decided he was going to buy “good” ones from Traxxus. Now, most of you have probably never heard of this company, and that would be because it’s the biggest money/time waster for adults. These trucks are not cheap. We bought our 11 y/o and 8 y/o $500 R/C’s. Plus all the batteries, chargers, optional wheels, etc. We spent about $1500-$2000 on R/C’s for Christmas. As if that weren’t bad enough, the boys are not mature enough to have them and they break them almost constantly so we spend hundreds of dollars per month fixing them. ON TOP of all that, my lovely, sweet, thoughtful husband DEPLOYED shortly after Christmas and left me with very expensive toys that I don’t know how to fix and two very angry little boys who are in the running for Most Spoiled Kids in America.
My poor brother has been the one to fix these stupid machines each time the boys break them, but I know he’s getting tired of it. My husband keeps having boxes of spare parts shipped to his house so he can work on them. As if he has nothing else to do with his life than work on R/C trucks.
My side: “you know, if you would slow down on buying R/C parts, we could have our car payment. Hell, I could have the master bathroom finished (he gutted it before he left so there is nothing in it, not even a floor), or maybe a new driveway”.
His side: “here we go, why do you always criticize how I spend money, I don’t question you”
My side: “well, when was the last time I bought something other than groceries and gas”?
His side: “well I don’t tell you that you can’t”.
My side: “fine, I’m buying a new car”.
His side: “oh c’mon, it’s 11pm here, and I’m arguing with you about stupid stuff”.
My side: “fine, call me tomorrow and we’ll pick it up then”.
I am not expecting a call, by the way. hahaha.
So, that was our conversation today. Wonderful huh? I hate arguing with him, I do, especially when he’s over there and we can’t “kiss and make up” before going to bed. Of course, we weren’t actually yelling, and nobody said anything hurtful, it was just one of those disagreements. We said our “I love you”‘s before hanging up and I’m not mad. I am just frustrated with how he can get under my skin like that. I guess that’s what marriage is, huh? I would never argue with anyone else about something so stupid, I guess it just bugs me when he doesn’t agree with me.
Cuz I know I’m right.
I’m a girl, of course I’m right.
All the time.
Why doesn’t he get that?