>Morning Grumpies


It has been a few days since I have blogged, or read blogs, but I have a good excuse. I had house guests. And not the expected kind. My mother and youngest brother came and stayed for two overnights.
After they left I got quite a bit done. I was so proud of myself that last night I sent DH an email telling him everything I had done.
Went to the karate studio for refund: kids don’t want to do it anymore.
Took the car in for new tires and an oil change: DH has been on my butt for 3 months to do it.
Signed up at the YMCA
So, this morning I wake up, trudge to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, and while I wait for it to brew I grab my laptop to check my email. BIG MISTAKE #1. I am not good in the mornings. My kids even know that I am a grump in the mornings; they avoid me at all costs until I’ve had my coffee. Well, I see an email from DH and I click on it. In the email he is saying that he’s “really glad I got all that done”, “thank you”, “you’re great”. It’s a nice email. Now. But this morning before I had my coffee I didn’t see those phrases, instead I focused on the one single line in the entire email “why did you change the oil in the Camry, I thought you were going to have them find and fix the oil leak”. Yup, that’s all I read. That’s all I saw. That’s all I could focus on. So, BIG MISTAKE #2 occurs when I hit the reply button. oh yeah. I could tell you what I said, but you’ll get a better idea with the copy/paste button. So here is what I sent him this morning:

I have been asking you to send a specific list for each car listing what needed to be done. Multiple times I’ve asked. And every time you say you’ll get to it. You never did. So, the fact that I screwed up is not surprising because you did NOT give me all the information and HELLOOOOOO, I am a GIRLLLLLL. How the heck am I supposed to know that after 15 years of this car leaking oil, all of a sudden, DURING A DEPLOYMENT, you decide you want it fixed. How the heck was I supposed to know that.

Maybe this is a lesson learned for EVERYONE. Send me the damned list for the suburban! Please! I noticed you conveniently left that out of your reply email. Which is absolutely what I expected from you even though I told you I needed to call the dealer THIS MORNING. You know, I don’t even know why I’m doing this. Go ahead, yell at me all you want. Tell me that you’ve been telling me for months, blah blah blah. If you don’t give me all the damned info, how am I supposed to get the job done. It’s a hassle for me to do this at all. Then to find out that I had wasted work done to the Camry because you NEVER SENT ME THE LIST. Well that just pisses me off.
So, here’s the deal. I’ve asked quite a few times for the list.

You won’t send it.

I took the Camry in without the list, and screwed up.

I have a perfect opportunity to get the burb in without totally screwing up my schedule.

You STILL refuse to get me the list in time to make an appointment.


The burb can sit here till you get home.

If I cause more damage by driving it, oh well, deal with it when you get home. Sorry, I can’t deal with the added stress you put on things. Do not ever speak to me of the vehicles again. Unless you are giving me permission to buy a new car. Otherwise, I don’t want to hear it.

And now I’m going to drink a pot of coffee and then send you an apology email.

Yup, that’s what I said. I just wish that after this many years I would recognize the “Morning Grumpies” as a short passing phase in my day easily remedied by coffee, rather than true anger. So, I’m sure you are all wondering about the apology mentioned above. Yup, I did that before I got on here to tell you all, so without further ado, here is my most recent email:

All righty, coffee has taken effect and I am back to issue forth the apology which I mentioned at the end of the last email. I knew I should wait to reply to that one, but like an idiot, I was checking my email while I waited for the coffee maker to brew and… well… you know how it goes. So, if you get this early enough; it is now safe to call the house if you have time.

Thank you for your cooperation.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

So, moral of the story: If you get the “Morning Grumpies” like me, do NOT, I repeat do NOT, check your email before coffee unless you are 100% POSITIVE that you have the self control to refrain from hitting that reply button until after you have transformed from Pre-Coffee to Post-Coffee Girl.


>Best use for video camera


OK, I really should not be here, in fact, I don’t have much time, but I just HAD to share.

House is a mess, I didn’t want to clean, but I knew after my last post I HAD to. So, I broke out my video camera and used my trusty motivation increasing technique:

Take a still picture of the messy room.
Leave camera in the SAME exact spot.
Take another picture of clean room.
Morph pics on computer.
Watch as a video while relaxing in a clean house.
OK, so I’m in the kitchen with my camera, screaming at the kids everytime they come near my camera. They finally ask what I’m doing, so I tell them. Of course this leads to them talking about actually video taping it and watching me clean in fast forward.
“Hey boys, you wanna do that? I’ll video tape you guys cleaning your bedrooms and then we can watch it in super fast forward on the TV”.
I have never seen my kids get so excited over cleaning their bedrooms. They raced down the hall, I set up the camera, pressed record and snuck out to the dining room to blog about it.
Yup, hopefully, if all goes well, I will have a clean house by bedtime tonight.
I love days that go smoothly. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that out loud. I’m tempting fate now.

>Decisions, Decisions, Decisions


I love getting phone calls from my husband, and when they are LONG calls it’s that much better. Today we had one of those long calls where we talked about a little of everything. He had to hurry up and hang up when he realized he had 10 minutes to get to dinner. Ooops! Totally worth it though. For me, anyway.

So, not all of the conversation was fun, of course we had to talk about the car situation. 2 cars, both old, both need service but I have NEVER been good at getting them in when needed. I tend to look the other way and then act surprised when the car actually breaks. Yeah, not a good method, I don’t recommend it.

The most fun part of the conversation was my birthday. He is insisting on buying me something even though I keep telling him not to worry about it. He claims he’ll hear about it for years if he doesn’t but I don’t know where he would get that idea from (:::wink:::). So, we talked about a watch, a Mother’s Ring, a necklace…. all great ideas. Then we started talking about things I could actually use: video editing software, small appliances, etc. That’s when I said that appliances just take up space when what I need is something to actually help me clean. He chimed in with “how about a maid service”. Awesome except for the fact that maids don’t do laundry or kid toys (I know because I looked into it). I jokingly told him I wanted an Impala so I didn’t have to take our cars to the dealership. He said $25,000 was a little steep and that we should aim lower. So I told him I wanted a new pc (my current one was my Xmas present so it’s less than a year old but has issues). He told me to look into the iPad and see if it’s something I would use.

Anyway, the point of this is that I have no idea what I want. He’s giving me a lot of options (no new cars) but I can’t decide. I will be thinking about this all day. I suppose there are worse things to have to think about, so I’m not complaining.

>100 Post Milestone


100 posts!
Can you believe it?

I signed in to read the latest blogs and I saw that I was at 99. Crazy to think that I’ve had that much to say. Although, when I think about it I suppose I really just say the same things in most of my posts.

“I’m stressed”
“Nursing School is hard”
“I miss my husband”

Here and there I had some interesting things to talk about, but for the most part it has become exactly what I thought (or intended for) it to be. A diary. Something I can look back on and say “oh yeah, I remember that”. Not having many friends (none around here) makes the comment aspect of the blog that much more appealing. I like when people talk to me about things other than xbox and RC cars.
I really think the blog (writing mine and reading others) has helped me keep things together. Of course not everything goes smoothly, it is after all, a deployment. Try to name me one person who made it through an entire deployment without something major going wrong. I bet you can’t. And of course, knowing that he is away makes even the small things seem major. Case in point, yesterday’s clothesline incident. Yeah, not a big deal if he were home. During deployment??? CRISIS!
We are about a quarter of the way through this, and I’m feeling as though I’m holding it together. I’m hoping this feeling continues. Summer vacation is almost over, so in less than a month the boys will be starting school and extracurricular activities again. That means, getting up early, fighting with them to go to bed at night, running all over town 3-4 nights a week for practice, homework (theirs and mine), and lets not forget dinner. I don’t know about you all, but dinner changes around here based on the situation.

During the school year, when DH is home:
  – every night is home cooked with veggies.

Summer vacation:
  – a few more frozen foods, maybe skip a night of veggies.

  – dinners become “what would everyone like? Pancakes???? SURE”

Deployment during summer vacation????
  – kids: “Mom, what’s for dinner”
  – me:  “oh crap, it’s 8pm, wanna order pizza”
  – kids: “NOT AGAIN”

As hectic as the past school year was, I did a complete 180 when DH left and school ended. Sure I do what needs to be done. I clean the house just enough that it doesn’t look like a daycare center after a sugary snack time. I was in school all summer so of course I was studying. I wasn’t laying on the couch or anything, but I definitely became super slack on the rules around here. The boys are loving it. Although they are going to hate me come the school year.

So, here we are:

100 posts
25% through deployment (approximately)
Going into my third to last semester of nursing school.
Major things I’ve accomplished….. NADA.

It’s all good though, because while I may not have made any huge, drastic, major, life altering changes I haven’t had a meltdown. I feel confident that I can do this.
Here’s to another 100 posts from my boring, mundane, but survivable life.

>A Series of Unfortunate Events


Seriously, folks! It’s one of those days. The kind that end with me locking myself in my bedroom and letting the kids eat microwave dinners.
I sat down to start writing this; managed to get a good portion of the way through, when what to my dismay happens? The computer restarts to install an update! I lost my post. BEAUTIFUL! I wasn’t going to even try again but decided, what the hell? If it makes me feel better (which writing usually does) it’s worth a shot. So, here’s what the original post was about.
Last night Z came walking out of his room carrying a stack of clothes taller than his head. I asked what he was doing and he said he was getting everyone else’s clothes out of his closets.
OK, background info here: We don’t have enough closet space (who does?) and it’s not because the house is lacking, it’s because we have too much crap.
Having three boys means hand me downs are a MUST. This means that I hardly ever get rid of anything unless it is stained, holey or too small for the youngest. As you can imagine I have TONS of clothing that is “in between kids”.
Where do I put it all? In the back of closets! Now, Z’s bedroom actually has two closets. I figured, that extra closet would be perfect for the “in betweens” but lately, he has been getting this teenager attitude (somedays I think he may actually be turning into a teenage girl with the hair gel and the shoe obsession, but I digress) and he is quickly filling up both closets with his “stylish” clothing.
OK, so because it was 2200 when Z decided to do this closet overhaul I told him to drop everything on the coffee table and we would devote today to organizing everyone’s closets. Putting all the proper clothes in the right kids closets and turning my closet into the “in between closet”. OK. Sounds great right? Right! So I go to bed, and fall asleep thinking about how nice it will be to finally have organized clothing. Ahhhhh, peaceful dreamland.
This morning, I get up, I go to Dunkin Donurs for an Iced Dark Roast and a dozen donuts. After the boys stuff themselves silly, I begin a load of wash and then start separating the clothes Z had dropped in the living room. So far so good.
The boys are helping. C is keeping the washer going and bringing the laundry up for me to hang on the clothesline. I’m finished with B’s room, Z’s room, I’m working on C’s room and all the while I’m creating a giant pile of “donation” clothes. Awesome. I love being able to get rid of things. This is where my day goes from cheerful house cleaning to “HOLY CRAP I need a vacation”.
I’m hanging the third load of laundry on the line when I realize that the clothes are soaking wet. Spin cycle is not working properly. I go down to check the washer and it’s making funny noises. It’s less than 2 years old, and wasn’t cheap, so this is no good. OK, I figure, whatever, it will just take longer for me to dry the clothes, but I have all day, weather channel says “sun”. No biggie, I’ll deal with the washer later.
So, I march my cheerful ass upstairs and back outside to continue hanging the clothes. That’s when the boys tell me the power is out. Hmmmmm, no storm, wonder what’s going on. Oh well, good thing it’s daytime and we don’t need lights.
Back to hanging laundry. I’m just getting the last couple towels up on the line when….
The clothesline comes down, and with it all my clean clothes. Are you kidding me???? Three loads of laundry on the ground???? WET???? And of course because life wouldn’t give it to me any other way, I had just mowed the lawn so you guessed it, everything is covered in grass clippings.
I call the boys out to help me gather the clothes off the lawn. I tell them to put the everything back in the baskets so I can go start rewashing. “Hellooooo, McFlyyyyyyy” power’s out!
Three loads of laundry that are wet and need to be rewashed, one load still in the washer needing to be dried. No power. Losing my sanity quickly.
No problem. I can handle this. I must have stood in the yard for a good 20 minutes trying to figure out how to fix the clothesline. I finally just tied an extra bit of line to the two broken ends and used the line tensioner to pull it tight. TA-DA!!!!! Noooooo, not just yet. the line had fallen off the pulleys and now that I had pulled it tight I couldn’t get it back on the rollers.
Breaking out the scissors, cutting the line down, getting a very unsteady, rusty ladder and climbing up 10 feet into the air to fix the pulley. OK. NOW I can tie the two ends, and tighten it right? Right. OK, everything is coming together, I am hot, sweaty, pissed and tired, but I fixed my problem! I am super woman. I called the boys outside to come help me rehang the clothes.
That’s right, rehang. I decided that a few grass clippings never hurt anyone, let the clothes dry, shake ’em out and good as new! Stop judging me!
Now, the boys and I are hanging the laundry, but the line is drooping (I didn’t pull it tight enough) the clothes are almost touching the ground. Whatever, I’m so over this. “Just keep hanging” I tell the kids. That’s when B looks at the sky and says “Mom, I thought you said it wasn’t gonna rain”. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!!!!! Seriously????? The sky is gray and getting darker. These clothes are going to take HOURS to dry because the spin cycle left them almost dripping! I have no power to run the dryer!
So, here I sit, on the back deck, looking at my pitiful sagging clothesline with (now 4) loads of laundry dragging on the ground. I’m watching the sky, praying that the rain holds off. I don’t even want to look at the weather. That stupid meteorologist mocking me “oops, I guess New England weather really can change in an instant, sorry viewers, cancel your plans we’ve got a doozy of a storm coming through”.
Oh, and did I mention that I have poison ivy? Oh yeah, not sure if I mentioned it in previous posts, but I have it bad. Must have gotten it from my sheets when I let B sleep in my bed after he got it on his face. It’s EVERYWHERE! And it sucks. And it’s been 12 days. Doctor put me on steroids because he said with a case this bad my body is going to need some help fighting it off. Great, steroids, so I’m gonna eat like a horse and be angry all the time. Wonderful.
Can someone please explain to me why days like these only happen during deployments when I’m on my own with 3 kids depending on me to keep my sanity?

>My clinical instructor hates me


Yet another crappy day at clinical. I swear my teacher has it in for me. It’s like she really doesn’t like me. I don’t get it. I really don’t. Today was our last clinical day at the hospital. Next week we are in lab. Then we have finals, then the semester is over. My patient was supposed to be discharged today although, that didn’t mean I had it easy. He was a complete assist. Couldn’t do anything. In fact, I couldn’t even wake him up to bathe him. He was completely out of it.
After lunch I went in to take his vital signs. He was alert! In fact he smiled at me. It was great to see him trying to communicate. He had difficulty talking but at least he was trying. I was very pleased with his appearance. I proceeded to take his vitals. Everything was normal except for his pulse, it was 38! Normal range is 60-100. He was severely bradycardic.
OK, so, I went out to the Nursing Station and told his RN that I wanted document his vitals because they weren’t “in line”. (His chart had been removed because he was to be discharged within the hour). She asked what was off, I told her the pulse was 38. She asked me to take it manually. I set off to do this, but my teacher ran in front of me. She was laughing and shaking her head. I said “why are you laughing”, she said “uhhhh, because I knew she was going to ask for a manual”. I said ok, and then I started to tell her that I was a bit surprised by the pulse reading because he was so much more alert than he had been in the morning. She said “ever hear of the calm before the storm”? I just looked down at my feet.
OK, so his apical pulse was 42; not much better. My teacher went out and got the RN to order a stat EKG, we then put him on telemetry. I began 15 minute BP checks while the ICU monitored his heart rate. My teacher pulled me aside and told me that she was going to write me up for the incident. WHAT?!?!?!?!? For what???? She started to explain to me that when I got a reading of 38 I should have “run” to the nurse’s station rather than walked. Um, ok, first off, the room was right across the hall, it didn’t take me any time to get there! She told me that I didn’t understand the urgency of the pulse. I told her that I DID understand the urgency. OK, so I didn’t run into the station, arms flailing, screaming at the top of my lungs… no, I calmly went to the nurse and explained that I needed to document an abnormal pulse reading.
Well, the teacher decided that because she couldn’t prove that I had done anything wrong she was going to write me up for failing to associate a low pulse with impaired tissue perfusion. Um, ok, are you serious? I know my stuff! I know that a low pulse will decrease tissue perfusion. I know that the patient’s circulation was compromised because of his bradycardia. I know this. I tried to argue. She was having none of it. She wrote me up. I cried. My chest hurt. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to run out of the hospital and just forget that I had ever gone to nursing school in the first place.
I don’t get it. Why does she hate me so much? It was like she was looking for something to get me for. Today was our last day at the hospital. She had to find something. I still honestly feel that it has to do with me being a dependent. She is an O5 in the Reserves. We do not live in a military area so finding another military family is rare around here. I have had a couple run-ins with female service members over the 12 years my husband has been in. Some of them are very nice. But others have this attitude toward “The Wives” that we are just not worth shit. We sit at home doing nothing and eating bon-bons. It is funny, I wouldn’t have expected a female officer to have this prejudice but apparently she does. I’m telling you. She has it in for me. I have done NOTHING to her, so the military affiliation is the only thing I can think of.
Ugh, my eyes hurt from wiping them with the cardboard that passes for paper towels at the hospital, I have a headache, and I have hives from some unknown allergen. My night sucks. My day sucked. I just want a hug from my husband.