How can you SAY that?

What a day it’s been. First off, I have to tell you all that I failed at my latest attempt to quit smoking. Yeah, yeah, bad me, but that’s not what this post is about. This is about my complete and total frustration with the situation I am in with my mother in law.

She is very demanding, she keeps track of when she sees the kids and will hold it against me during each and every phone call, which is why I sometimes (accidentally) don’t get to the phone in time to answer before voice mail picks up. Ooops!
We are busy, with three boys, sleepovers, school projects, dentists, orthodontists, nursing school, etc. it leaves very little spare time. Yet she doesn’t understand why I can’t spend a day driving the kids out to her house on the weekends! I have offered to have her come over for dinner, explaining that her coming to our house is much easier to arrange then an outing to a museum two hours away. Her reasoning for not wanting to come to our house is because we live on a mountain and the “curves are quite scary” and she’s too nervous to make the drive up here more than once in a while. This is why she makes me meet her in the grocery store parking lot (at the bottom of the hill) anytime she wants to “give” me something such as a newspaper clipping or a box of sugar cookies for the kids.  She complains to my husband every chance she has and tells him that she hopes “he can straighten things out” when he gets home, meaning bring the boys to see her.

The boys don’t want to go to her house any more than I want to drive out there because she has difficulty dealing with all of them at once. She only had one child and has no idea how to handle three brothers who can a bit rowdy sometimes.
OK, so here’s what happened. Last night I had to go to class. C babysits his brothers; he is very good about it and he thinks he is completely in charge. What he doesn’t know is that my brother (who lives 2 minutes down the road) is pretty much “on call” and will do drive by’s or drop in’s periodically just to make sure things are going smoothly.

What I hadn’t anticipated was the mother in law taking advantage of my school schedule to call and harass the kids.

When I got home last night I got an earful from Z and B. They told me how she repeatedly asked them who they liked better her or their other grandmother.

Which of their brothers were their favorites.

Which uncle bought them the most gifts.

And last but not least; who they loved more, me or DH!

Yeah! I couldn’t believe it either. Who DOES that?

The boys refused to answer and apparently my 9 y/o told her that they were “inappropriate questions” and he “doesn’t have a favorite because we are all family”. So mature, I’m so proud of him.

After this conversation I went looking for C and found him asleep in his room. Strange! This kid NEVER goes to bed early. I figured maybe he didn’t feel well and let him sleep.

Today I find out that he was really upset by the conversation that he had with his grandmother and was so worried about the idea that he was disappointing his father and that when he came home he was going to force him to spend weekends with her; that he went to bed early. That’s really saying something.

I talked to my brother about it and he said he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut. He said he’s tempted to call her himself and give her an earful because you can’t do that to kids. You can’t call them after consuming enough alcohol to intoxicate a football team and ask ridiculous questions and threaten them with “you just wait until your father comes home”. Their FATHER would NEVER force them to put up with this and if he had any idea what she did/said to them he’d probably handle it himself.

I’m just so over this situation with her. I have tried to be mature, I’ve tried to compromise with her but she wants it her way or no way. The thing is she probably won’t even remember the conversation with the kids so talking to her about it does no good. The sad part is that the kids WILL remember and she thinks it’s ME brainwashing them. HA! I don’t have to say a word, she does all the damage herself.

I just don’t want her making the kids feel bad about hurting their father or letting him down because that is not even close to being the case. He, of all people, knows how she is and would NEVER put her before his children’s feelings. He’s too good of a father.

OK, enough of my ranting for tonight.
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13 thoughts on “How can you SAY that?

  1. >That's completely awful. I don't know why someone in their right mind who do that. You really should probably say something when you cool down and let husband know how she is (in a totally calm manner). This behavior shouldn't be tolerated!

  2. >Love the blog.. I am an Army Wife as well.. Now following from Follow me Friday. Would love a follow backSamanthahttp://thelifeofawifenmommy.blogspot.com/

  3. >I feel for you! My ex-mil was pretty demanding and always said things to get under my skin. Well, she still does…only now I don't care & I stand up to her. I don't know why people have to be the way they are…UGH!!!New follower from the hop, please follow back…thanks! =)Dawnhttp://dawn-wemaynothaveitalltogether.blogspot.com/

  4. >Stopping in from Follow me Friday. First off Thank you and your family for your service!! I hope that you do reach your goal in quitting smoking!! ~Melissahttp://www.mnmrheinlander.blogspot.comhttp://www.twitter.com/MSRheinlanderhttp://www.facebook.com/KUWTR

  5. >It's true when you marry one you marry them all. That is absolutely ridiculous. I would bring it up to her casually and explain to her that what she did is NOT right and you will not tolerate it.

  6. >First off, you're obviously doing something right as that's a phenomenal response from a 9-year-old. Secondly, my MIL tried something along these lines (getting my then 5 year old on the phone and telling him to tell Mommy and Daddy he wanted to come see Nana after we'd already told her a trip was NOT possible at that time). I feel your pain. I have no good advice in that area. I'm sorry about the smoking thing. 😦 (((Hugs)))

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