Please speak louder, I can’t hear you!

I ran to Walgreens today to pick up a prescription and I found Junior Mints on sale. A big box of them for $0.69! AWESOMENESS!

So I picked up 10. Yeah, that’s right TEN.
I’m trying to quit smoking, plus I have kids who want everything I have so, yeah, 10.
Anyway, I’m at the check out and I felt the need to explain my large purchase. So, I told the guy “I’m quitting smoking, can ya tell”? I gave a little laugh to show that I can see the humor in this and was surprised when he said “from this? No”.
Hmmmmm, ok, no sense of humor.
As he begins ringing everything up he starts teliing me about a friend of his who quit. He said I should try doing it the way his friend did….. cutting down week by week. I explained that I went cold turkey, and he said that was great if I could do it like that. Way to motivate me, dude!
As I’m picking up my bags to leave he, VERY LOUDLY, tells me that “CIGARETTES AND CHOCOLATE AREN’T THE BEST COMBINATION”. As I turned around and realized that the entire line was staring at me I couldn’t think of anything to say so I just ducked out the door. But I’m sitting here thinking “what the heck”? Did he not hear me? I said I’m quitting. So there is no combo! It’s just chocolate!
So, that was my embarrassing moment of the day.
And for my “I’m feeling old” moment of the day. We had freshman orientation for my oldest son at the high school tonight. It feels like just yesterday that I was in high school, it’s so weird to have a kid getting ready to go.
Well, I’m going to go play some Dance Central with the kids to work off the Junior Mints that I have eaten so many of…. maybe the pharmacist was right. Ughhhh.

>Smoking Cessation – Day #03

>Day #03

19 FEB 2011 – 20 FEB 2011 @2100

Waking up today my chest feels terrible. I have a cough and and the only way I can describe the feeling is “dusty”. My lungs feel dusty. I’ve never been good with words, can ya tell?

I’m going to take some more cough suppressant today, I know I shouldn’t keep doing this but I hate coughing and if I don’t stop it I will use it as an excuse to smoke again. At some point I need to allow my body to rid itself of the “smoke residue” but today is a little early to be testing my willpower. It won’t take much to push me toward a cigarette.

That’s another thing. I’m trying to stay away from my family. They all smoke. Being near them now and watching them smoke would almost certainly be an end to my cessation attempt. Therefore I have kind of locked myself in the house with the kids. I just have to keep thinking about how happy this is going to make DH at Homecoming.

@ 2100 – I am now at 72 hours. Supposedly my body is now officially 100% nicotine-free That means that from here on out it is a psychological game. The hardest thing will be this weekend when I have a bunch of people over for Bro #2’s baby shower. Everyone smokes. I am going to need a lot of willpower.

>Smoking Cessation – Day #02

>Day #02
18 FEB 2011 @ 2100 – 19 FEB 2011 @ 2100

@1200 – Today seems harder than yesterday. DH called this morning, his first question was “how’s The Quit going”? I told him I hadn’t smoked at all and he sounded surprised. I think he was expecting me to tell him that I couldn’t do it; not that he wants me to fail, just that he wants me to quit so bad I think he was preparing himself for bad news. I liked being able to tell him that I was succeeding. So far, each time I have a craving I think about him and how much he wants me to quit.

When I woke up this morning I felt like I had smoked 3 packs of cigarettes yesterday. My chest was heavy and I was out of breath. It was a nasty feeling. Luckily it went away within 15 minutes but it was not pleasant. So far I’m doing OK. I have homework that I need to get started on. I’ve been putting it off because I typically smoke when I get stumped on a difficult assignment.

@ 2100 – 48 hours! I have made it to 48 hours. I won’t lie, I did make an attempt to find an old pack of cigarettes earlier when the Mother In Law called. She was going on and on about how she never gets to see the kids and a GOOD mother would FORCE the kids to go see her. I went outside to the truck, looked under the seats and in the glove compartment.. nothing. That was a good thing though. I could have gone to the gas station if I really needed to. I didn’t.

My nose feels like I have to sneeze, almost like I’m coming down with a cold.

At 48 hours they say “the nerve endings have started to regrow and sense of smell and taste are beginning to return to normal. Anger and irritability are at their peak”. Fantastic, this is not going to be good for my diet. Not tasting my food has been a definite help with losing weight.

>Smoking Cessation – Day #01

>Day #01
17 FEB 2011 @ 2100 – 18 FEB 2011 @ 2100

My reasons for quitting

a. I don’t want my kids to see me smoking, they know the dangers of smoking and can’t understand why I continue to do it. I was Z’s age when I started, I can’t imagine him smoking.

b. Another reason is that I don’t want to get sick/die, I am 32 y/o and it is not unheard of for middle aged women to suffer strokes and heart attacks. I don’t want to be sick. A couple years ago in A&P lab we had a set of lungs from a smoker and a healthy set, it was amazing the difference. The smoker’s lungs had no elasticity and just felt “sick”. Gross. I can still remember the feel of those lungs.

c. Money! As if $8 isn’t enough for a pack of cigarettes, the prices will only go up. We could use that money somewhere else, for something more fun. Like a new car.

d. And one of my biggest pushes to be smoke free is my husband. He hates that I smoke, and wants nothing more than for me to have quit by Homecoming. I promised him I would and the time is fast approaching.

Today wasn’t too bad, I certainly wanted to smoke but the cravings weren’t too bad. I went to the store and bought junk food to munch on. Maybe I bought a little too much…

I am very irritable, I feel lightheaded and out of breath. Weird!

The coughing isn’t too bad because I took a cough suppressant earlier when I began to cough. I want to stay ahead of it because I know it’s going to give me an excuse to start smoking again.

I’m also drinking more water to flush the toxins and chemicals from my body.

The first 72 hours are the hardest, right? @ 2100 – I have officially completed my first full day as a non-smoker. The timeline says that at 24 hours “anxieties will peak in intensity” and “within 2 weeks will return to pre-cessation levels”. That means I can expect a lot of stress for the next couple weeks. Fantastic. That’s what makes me smoke in the first place. I’m headed to bed now because I like the idea of sleeping through the worst of the withdrawals.


>WARNING, I may not be very nice


Confession Time!

I am a smoker.
I hate it. I’m ashamed.
I don’t want my kids to see me smoking.
I don’t want my husband to worry about my health.
I don’t want to waste money anymore.
I don’t want to freeze my butt off half the night because I will still go outside to smoke even if it’s in the single digits.
I’m tired of it.
I’m done.
I. Want. To. Quit!
I have tried a few times over the past couple years. I failed each time obviously!
The funny thing is that I quit each time I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t smoke at all! Very few cravings, nothing I couldn’t handle, and the initial withdrawal wasn’t all that bad. It’s not that easy any more.
They say that one of the ways you can help yourself quit is by telling friends/family. I assume that the fear of letting them down is supposed to keep you from failing. I don’t know about that; I worry that the pressure may be enough to make me give in. I fear that it may have the opposite effect.
I figure, the next best thing is to put it on my blog; I don’t want to fail in front of any of you either but the pressure won’t be as intimidating and stressful… so this could work.
I came home today with less than a half pack of cigarettes, normally I would stop at the gas station and grab some so I didn’t run out tonight.
Today I drove right by.
I smoked while I completed some homework and an online quiz for school but I smoked my last one around 9pm. I briefly considered going out to get more because I really hadn’t intended to quit until the morning but I decided I may as well get a 12 hour jump start. I will be going to sleep soon anyway.
The few times that I have tried quitting recently I found that, while ultimately I wasn’t successful, one thing that did help me get through some tough times was looking at the cessation time lines. They are all over the Internet; some more detailed than others. Basically they tell you what changes your body is going through at different intervals.
At 20 minutes – blood pressure and pulse rate return to “normal”.
At 8 hours – the nicotine levels in my body will decrease by over 90%
Looking at this stuff helps me get through the rough times; it reminds me why I’m doing this. It reinforces the idea that I really am damaging my body by smoking. I’m hurting myself and everyone around me. I truly want to be successful this time.
I’m going to bed now and when I wake up I will be at 9 hours. We’ll see how this goes!